When I take a long time, I am slow.

 When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

 When I don't do it, I am lazy.

 When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.

 When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.

 When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

 When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.

 When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

 I do good, my boss never remembers.

 When I do wrong, he never forgets