 |
Eventually, the speaker figures out that the other person recently attended a listening seminar or read a book on the subject. But it all comes across as artificial. All good things, including listening, require moderation and suitable application. Too much exaggerated listening is just as bad as, if not worse than, none at all.
5. Practice mind-mapping.
An excellent method for note taking is mind-mapping. This free-form technique helps you take notes quickly without breaking the flow of the conversation. Essentially, you use a rough diagram to connect primary pieces of information, then break it into appropriate subtopics or details.
It's extremely helpful and easy to use, and not at all like the old-fashioned Roman-numeral kind of outlining you probably learned in school. If you want to know more, I recommend an excellent book Tony Buzan's The Mind Map Book.
6. Be alert to your body language.
What you do with your eyes, face, hands, arms, legs, and posture sends out signals as to whether you are, or aren't, listening to and understanding what the other person is saying. For example, if you noticed someone you were talking to doing the following, what would you think
Glancing sideways
Sighing
Yawning
Frowning
Crossing arms on chest
Looking at the ceiling
Cleaning fingernails
Cracking knuckles
Jingling change or rattling keys
Fidgeting in chair
You'd very quickly get the impression-wouldn't you-that no matter what words come from this person's mouth, he or she actually has zero interest in what you're talking about and wishes you'd just go away. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, What you are is shouting so loud, I can't hear what you are saying. Conversely, consider these mannerisms
Looking into your eyes
Smiling frequently
Raising eyebrows periodically
Grinning at appropriate moments
Using expressive hand gestures when speaking
Keeping eyes wide open
Licking lips
Tilting head
Leaning toward you
This person shows interest in you and what you're saying. In addition, the active listener usually acknowledges the speaker verbally with such comments as I see, Uh-huh, Mmmm, or Really
Some people are contact-oriented, while others are much less so, preferring more space between them and the person they're talking to. You'll be a better listener if you honor those spatial preferences.
Again, when you acknowledge the other person both verbally and nonverbally, you build trust and increase rapport. And you'll probably learn something, too!
7. Abstain from judging.
As someone once advised, Grow antennae, not horns. If you prejudge someone as shallow or crazy or ill-informed, you automatically cease paying attention to what they say. So a basic rule of listening is to judge only after you've heard and evaluated what they say. Don't jump to conclusions based on how they look, or what you've heard about them, or whether they're nervous.
范文库(FwKu.Net)致力于提高您的应用文写作水平，仅应是您日常生活中的辅助工具。站内文章仅供您参考之用，请注重自身能力的提高！
编辑：丽丽 作者：本站整理 时间：2007-8-10 5:26:24 来自：
 上一篇文章： 背诵打造真正的英语语言能力
 下一篇文章： 中国人如何避免说中国式英语 |
|
|
